Thursday, April 19, 2012
A cruel stroke of fate
The world has just ended. The impossible happened. My sweetheart, my angel, my cutie Trcika suddenly passed away. Acutely miserable and racked with sorrow, I now have nothing to hold on to. All that’s left is emptiness.
She was never sick a day in her life. She radiated beauty, joy and strength, shined with her own kind of light. She was loving and sweet as could be. Nothing presaged the tragedy.
I took her to be spayed. For some strange reasons, I was feeling kind of anxious, although it seemed there was nothing to worry about. Spaying is a safe and routine procedure, hundreds of spays are routinely performed in clinics safely each day. Yet I could not shake off my feeling of uneasiness. I wished I could cancel the surgery and keep her home. And now I wonder why I didn’t listen to myself.
To make a long story short, Trcika was given a sedative before receiving general anesthesia. She immediately became cyanotic and unresponsive. Frantic attempts were made to revive her, to no avail. Just like that, she was gone in a flash.
I still can’t believe it ended this way. The vet suspects she had some congenital heart defect. She could not have been saved. Nevertheless, the pain is overwhelming. I have done nothing wrong, yet grief and remorse are unbearable.
I choose to believe that every kitty I’ve ever loved is waiting for me in heaven. That has to be enough.
Rest in peace, my sweetie, gone from my life but never absent from my heart. I am sure we’ll meet again.